What I tell the 5 year-old inside of me

(Not sure how old I was, one of the oldest photos my mother Anne has. 5 years-old is just an image.)

You can also listen to these thoughts with more emotions on this episode of my podcast also on Apple Podcasts, Amazon and Spotify. You can also just hit play here:

I cannot be more grateful to Anne Ghesquière and her team (hi Folco!) for having invited me as a guest in her podcast Métamorphose.

Métamorphose is one of the top podcasts in France all categories which says a lot as it is focusing only on consciousness and awakening. Anne brings the best voices in French to help millions of people every month “awaken”.

I would have never thought I would be a guest of such podcast one day with my tech entrepreneur past which I am now again, differently.

I am grateful for the opportunity to share my story.

Sharing a story to such a big audience (feminine also!) can be seen as ego and lack of humility. I can be seen as me promoting myself or my conference. Sure I do still have an ego, ego is necessary to start acting in the world, otherwise I would have stayed silent in the Amazon forest. I was tempted.

Sharing is also a way to pull a mirror out and hear myself, see myself in a way, so I can better understand who I am.

I have been working for the last 6 years almost exclusively on myself so that my incarnation looks more to the spirit of myself I have met in the forest.

I want to be a better and more conscious human being.

I have still much work to do but I have decided the best way to keep improving myself is by building things in the world again instead of meditating and connecting to animals and plants all day long. I go see them daily, of course. Time for me is in action, not out of society.

Anne’s team extracted a quote from what I said, as if this is what she thought people should remember from close to an hour conversation.

“If I had to summarize what I have learned is that I have a little 5 years old inside of me and I talk to him often because now I can finally see him”

I would say all my consciousness and spiritual work summarizes in this sentence. I am talking to him to find my own master inside.

I am finding my own spirit.

I sure listen and learn from very advanced human beings from the forest and the western world, I get healings, but finally understood the only one that can really take care about myself is inside. The only voice I should really listen to when things get tough is inside myself. The only person that can heal and guide myself is my spirit.

“You are your own master”

I could keep going and do more Hoffman Institutes (I did it, not sure I recommend it), therapy work, meditation retreats (I recommend to everyone), vision quests (I recommend to the courageous), trips to the forest (I recommend to everyone), ceremonies… [add your spiritual work here] but really the point now for me is to take care of that child inside.

When I was 5 (I am now 50) I witnessed my beautiful 6 years older sister -Yannick Le Meur- being hit full speed by a car on the road and she ended up in coma, unconscious, for more than a year. She then came back damaged and incapable of living and acting as normal in the world and ended up dying when she was 36.

I miss Yannick and love her so much.

This and many other traumas that we all have to a lower or higher extent define us in very unknown ways. They guide our thoughts, emotions, words and behavior. They live in ourselves.

So here is what I tell the 5 year old in me, that little boy, often and especially when things get tough.

“I missed you. I love you. I will take care of you”

This is enough to get me going in any situation. I think about him often.