Oct 8, 2020Liked by Loic Le Meur

BAM! Best read in awhile. Learning how to uncondition one's self.

Expand full comment

Great article Loic (my son's name is Loïc).

This interesting concept sounds like a "breaking the mold" type conversation. Our parents, teachers and society as a whole all have a powerful influence on our decisions, particularly as we grow up into adulthood. Unfortunately, what we often are not taught enough of these days is how to self-reflect, which I believe is at the centre of your discussion. It appears as though you retrospectively analyzed your decisions and asked: why did I make them that way? - and it turned out, you didn't make the decision at all. Seemingly you made those decisions to fit the mold that is accepted and encouraged by society. Not necessarily a bad thing, because doing things that are widely accepted keeps you out of jail and your character in good standing with other members of society. But I believe the problem highlighted here is, how much autonomy did you really have when taking those crucial steps in life. The bigger question is, if left to your own devices under the magistrate of pleasures and pains, would you make the same decisions to make you who you are today?

Expand full comment

Spot on, Loic! Thanks for sharing 🙏🏼I realised the same a couple of years ago. That everything I learned or did in my life wasn't really my decision but decisions from a "conditioned" lifestyle, influenced by our parents, school systems, society, work & competition models, etc. They were so called "rational" decisions as we have been trained to "think" things through instead of listening to our heart. The thing is there's an entire different world out there you can choose for yourself, once you become "aware" of this 🧐The way I take decisions right now is to make sure to "listen" to my heart (through meditation, connection with nature, morning pages, ...). And check the decision is in line with my values, my vision for life and if the decision contributes to a good life I envisioned for myself and my beloved ones. In other words, when I take a decision, it just "feels right" now. I believe it's very important to imagine the life we want for ourselves, then take the decisions within that manifestation.

Expand full comment

This resonates at many levels. I too have ended up in places that were not due to any research or planning on my part but created phenomenal opportunities for a deeper connection to the source of it all. It’s almost as if I was invited to some places for a glimpse into consciousness. …and then there are other invitations I accepted that have programmed me at level and am still trying to figure out what I am seeking from these invitations. Through it all it’s fascinating to peel all the layers and go within or without. Your blog too was a calling and I’m glad I listened to the calling.

Expand full comment

Oh so true. Our environment, culture, interactions predispose us, and we don't realize the extent too which it is the case. If you haven't read sapolsky's "behave", I highly recommend.

So now you take the perspective of your future passed away self to decide? Or do you have some principles?

I found that taking time to reflect on my values and define principles was helpful. Also, focusing energy on consequential decisions and not wasting it on inconsequential ones is helpful.

A few of my principles:

If I can go back on a decision, I won't spend too much time thinking it through. If not deciding doesn't hamper progress, I wont decide.

If it is about food, I will try new things.

If it is about things, I will get the lower total environmental cost one. Etc.

Expand full comment

Really interesting article ! I was wondering how can you be aware of decisions you are making at a young age ? Because obviously the "base" you have come from your environment (parents, family, friends, etc..) At a young age do you think you have enough resources to be fully aware of the decisions you make ?

Thanks Loic !


Expand full comment

Deep article Loïc. Merci for sharing.

I liked the examples you gave of decisions you didn’t really make on your own but where you looked to fulfill someone you love’s desire. I was wondering if that’s particularity true in the French culture. I personally relate to this a lot when I look back at my upbringing there.

Also, can totally relate to what you experienced in “classes prépa” to honor the French archetype of success “Grandes Écoles”. This French name in itself is an archetype of the national status quo, the decision is made even before it has time to be processed by an independent brain.

Is that where the no brainer expression comes from?

There are also, I believe, decision we make not necessarily from the heart or from the conscious, Cartesian brain, but to escape or improve one’s emotional reality.

For example, with some grey hair now, I know that some decisions are linked purely to how we feel about our own reality and how such decision can impact it short term.

You can decide to train at an early age to become a young top athlete to escape a though family situation by devoting most of your time honing on your athletic skills.

Do those decisions come from the heart or calculating brain, are they even conscious at the time they are taken?

Expand full comment